Thursday, December 31, 2009

Wanting to Be a Skinny Bitch

You know the type: skinny, not an ounce of fat, and they ride bike like hell up a hill. I can't stand them! Damn skinny bitches. Well would you believe there was actually a book written about them. Yes, Skinny Bitch, by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin is my latest read and it's getting a book review here on my fun blog 'cause I want to repeat the profanity they use in the book. No, the authors aren't riding bicycles, but they do tell you exactly how to become a skinny bitch. Unfortunately, it's nothing that I didn't already know - its all about becoming vegan which I'm maybe 90% at this point and allow a 10% "cheat" each week. (Cheating is dairy, meat, fish, or eggs). They talk about slaughterhouses, animal cruelty, you are what you eat, chemicals, environmental degradation, etc -- the normal vegetarian read. The really fun part about the book is the way it's written. It's hilarious and totally profane! You'll get the gist of the entire book by these couple Chapter Headings and quotes from some of the chapters:

Have no Faith - Government Agencies Don't Give a Shit About Your Health. The USDA - It's not what you think.

The Dairy Disaster "Go suck your mother's tits. Go on. Suck your mother's tits. You think this is ridiculous? It is. Get ready to use your head. "

The Dead Rotting Decomposing Flesh Diet

Sugar is the Devil

Pooping "Pinch a loaf. Lay cable. Drop the kids off at the pool. Let's face it; there is no greater pleasure than taking a big, steamy dump. But Shitting isn't just for kicks. It is a vital tool for weight loss and optimal health. Basic math girls, How much are you putting in your mouth, and how much is coming out of your ass?"

Don't Be a Pussy "Recognize that anything worth having is worth fighting for. Good health, vitality, more energy, more confidence, better sex, great abs, a tight ass - you either want 'em or you don't."


The Wiser Weiser said...

YEAH!!! ;)

The Wiser Weiser said...

I just ordered the book!! Wheeee!! ;) Happy New Year!!